Monday Blues

I have the Monday blues I'm just not motivated today to do anything really and I hate when I feel like that. I've been sitting here at work trying to think up something to write about, something witty and funny, but alas I can not. I think it has to do with the fact that Memorial Day is coming up and I really don't have any money to do anything.

I work two jobs to pay back some debt I got myself into while living in Florida. It sucks to be 32 years old and living check to check. I have no house of my own. I don't own my car yet, I don't have nice clothes that have "labels" in them (not that I ever did buy labels but you know). I've been wearing the same shoes for about 3 years. I buy what's on sale and buying new underwear at Target is a treat for me. I'm just tired of being always two steps behind. I feel like every time I think I'm above water something else pushes my head back down.

Today, I go to the ATM and realize there is about $100-$150 less in my checking account then there should be, I'm thinking great what did I write a check or pay online for that I forgot about. So I get to work and go online and realize that my check from the restuarant (the 2nd job) has bounced. It went BOING BOING BOING, and I'm not even surprised by this. I had heard from others that at one point their checks have bounced as well. Great that's all I need.

So I call the restaurant and talk to the owner and she said to just bring in the proof of the bounced check (because I don't have the actual check back yet) and they would reimburse me. Oh and they would pay the fees as well. (Which is a good thing). But what bugs me is that she was so non-chalant about it like no big deal. Well you know what it is a big deal losing that money, plus the time it is going to take me to go get the money from them, then go to their bank to cash this weeks checks (so it won't bounce again) and then go back to my bank to deposit the cash. Yeah because I have so much free time to do all this.

It's a good thing that I had enough money in my bank account to cover anything that will clear because let me tell you if I had bounced any checks or had any overdrafts (fees) the restaurant would be paying for those as well. I'm just tired of living like this. I just wish that I had been smarter and less trusting of the "boyfriend" (now ex) and realized sooner that I needed to get away from him. I will say he is trying to repay me and I appreciate it, but it really isn't enough each month. I"m trying to save for Blogher in Chicago this summer and it's really hard. With gas prices, tolls and just daily expenses (not to mention all the damn bills I have), I just barely make it each month.

I have been wanting to go out dancing and have some drinks with friends for so long, but that is just not in the budget. Oh well, I have lived through worse things and I will live through this too. But it sucks damn it!!!