I feel like a famous person now because I have a therapist.

Okay that title isn't completely true I don't feel famous, but isn't that the trendy thing to do now is see a therapist. Well I'm not seeing a therapist because I want to be trendy nor do I feel depressed, I am seeing one because my father and I have a very up and down relationship, and we have just started talking after about 8 months of no communication.

My father and I don't communicate very well and the last time that we stopped talking I made a decision that if we were to have a normal father/daughter relationship then I wanted us to go into family counseling. And to my surprise my father not only agreed but thought it was a good idea. He too wants us to communicate and relate to each other better and so we went last night to meet with Steve our psychologist. Steve is someone that my father and step mother saw when their marriage was ending and they were trying to work things out, so he already knows my father which is a good thing, because he already knows what to expect from my dad.

Yesterday we talked briefly why we were there and how we want to have a better relationship and that we go through times where we don't talk for months and how we want that to stop and I want him to realize sometimes words hurt and I want to learn how to not take everything he says so personally and not be intimated by him. I've always wanted to please my father but never feel like I can.

So we'll see how things go, Steve just talked with me first so he could get to know me better since he's never met me and I will go back a few more times alone to talk with him. Then we'll go together to see him, to build a better foundation for our relationship, I am very hopeful and very happy that my father and I are doing this. I won't get into the details of our specific issues, partly because I don't want to talk about that on the Internet but I wanted to share that we are moving in the right direction and that I hope and pray that this works.

I respect my father so much, he is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. He came to this country when he was just 18 years old after working as a merchant marine and he jumped ship literally when the boat docked in NC. He came into this country with the clothes on his back and nothing else. He learned English, he taught himself the culture and he opened his own business. He absorbs everything he sees and reads, he has a photographic memory which really sucks when you play cards with him, because he'll memorize the cards that were played and know exactly what card you need so he'll put that card on his forehead face out and say, "Ha you need this one, see if you can go out now." But he's also a stubborn SOB and so am I (both of us are Capricorns). We butt heads, we are a lot alike in some senses, but I'm hoping that we learn a better way to deal with each other then to just cut off ties. I love my father and I want him to be a part of my life and I know he wants to be there. Wish us luck because I'm sure we'll need it.